Namaste Readers,
Thank you for reading along. Thank you for humoring me. It's been almost a year since my epic failure (?- oh histrioniks!), which prompted the creation of this blog. For now, I feel that I've expressed what I needed to express, and it's time to just rest. I hope you learned as much as I did.
I learned that I'm awesome (^ -^)V at initiating projects, sustaining them, completing them, and being consistent ( ex. foundation for highly probable dissertation topic, Internship, ESL Practicum, Freelance Editing/Tutoring, and GRE Review ). I could discipline myself to write frequently ( at least every other day ); I could write for an audience; I could do research grounded in credible theory with direct application ( Writing Center/Tutor Training/Professionalization and Administrative Responsibilities ). Teamwork for me is like breathing; I heart working with all types of people.
I learned that j'adore food/fashion/poetry/reading. With the need to constantly challenge myself, I traveled not only to the Philippines ( for a food trip, and to complete an internship with an emphasis in Administration/administrating ), but also to spaces and ideas I've never considered ( especially in World/History, Literature, Language, Environmental/Science, Engineering, Medicine, Culture, Spirituality, Politics, Business/Insurance Claims, Finance, and Current Events helping me get a better understanding of personal and others' viewpoints ). In spite of never attending an Ivy League school, I have a great educational foundation ( thank you to all my teachers, colleagues, and awesome supporters ); I'm an openminded and critical learner 4 life.
As for the future, it's a mystery. Nonetheless, one can still plan ( and change that plan ) to give one guidance. I renewed a temporary contract for my current part time job, and next month (October), I plan to take the GRE Lit test, and finalize my applications for several Ph.D. programs in Rhetoric and Composition. Afterwards, I will apply to the Peace Corps ( to keep my options open, and to help others while traveling not so aimlessly ) and continue to apply to jobs with Assistant Director positions ( with all my experience, I feel that this is the right level for me in order to continue growing [professionally, etc.] ). I will take RANDOM classes just to keep the fire of curiosity burning, and I will continue to explore ( in order to settle ); I will run...
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Random? Summer 2011 Reflection
Namaste Readers,
Although expectations didn't dictate my experience, tasks, nonetheless, guided my time. According to the 1st blog article for this whole endeavor, I had 8 tasks to complete.
I only completed 1 internship because I didn't want to spread myself thin ( budget also played a role in this decision ). I finished reading the 18 journal articles; I only took notes, so I haven't formed a synthesis of sorts. I started the GRE Lit Review; the book I read definitely gave me plenty of tips ( I'm preparing to take the practice test to help study for the actual test in October ). I definitely kept up with my blog ( blog overkill ), and I read for fun too. I didn't finalize any PhD applications, but I revised a "Statement" for a University, and also researched another University's program. I didn't complete the Peace Corps application, but I applied to other Assistant Directorship positions. After being pick-pocketed, my zest for exploration diminished; nonetheless, I explored the various malls I encountered along the way from my cousin's house to my place, plus the eateries in Katipunan Avenue. I didn't complete everything, but I did other things to make up for the incompletes ( such as running and freelance tutoring ).
See Summary Below:
-internship(s) [complete]
-research ( 18 journal articles ) [complete]
-GRE Lit Review [somewhat]
-blog updates [complete]
-fun reading [somewhat]
-PhD applications/ essays [incomplete]
-Peace Corps application [incomplete]
-Urban exploration ( Quezon City ) [somewhat]
Beyond the surface of material accomplishments, I tried to explore the profound ( that makes life or something like it more meaningful, diba? ). Ever since I migrated to the U.S. in 1993, I've returned to the Philippines 5-6 times: before high school (1999), before college (2003)?, Christmas during college (2004), project during college (2006), 1 year after completion of MAs program (2010), 6 months after the last time (Summer 2011).
Of course, it became more difficult to leave with each visit. For some reason, I couldn't blindly follow the "Immigrant Narrative" ( of leaving the "Old" world behind and starting fresh in this "new" land of opportunity ). Meanwhile, I couldn't just go back and leave this new land. I've established ties in both lands. The phrase, "It's complicated" is such an understatement (that's why it's difficult to write the Philippines-American War). So I'm just learning to accept the complexity of it all ( as long as there are airplanes, and I have money, then I can "easily" travel between lands: distance is relative, diba? ).
But still, every blue moon, I do wonder what life would be like if I never left the Philippines ( and then I'm reminded of speculation's limitations ). In spite of the tribulations of being an immigrant ( even if my case wasn't as severe/unfortunate as other immigrants' cases; I'm one of the lucky immigrants, who have an awesome network of support/who have opportunities/ who are living the positive and good "Immigrant Narrative" ).
In conclusion (^ _ ^)V ... I realized that in spite of the complexity of it all, I'm grateful that my migration introduced me to "Art." The main function of Art for me is expression. If I weren't taken out of the proverbial pond, I wouldn't be grasping for air. Thus Art is like oxygen; breathing-living is expressing: expression in its various forms/media: visual (etc.), kinesthetic (writing/dancing etc.), auditory ( singing/Musicals etc. ) et. al. ( cooking etc. ). I had a catalyst/reason[s] to create Art, and with this expression comes a type of literacy, (especially) a Cultural Literacy. I learned to read various situations and context ( more apparent and applied during my recent internship: code switching, translating, negotiating, interacting with people, et. al. ). Muchas gracias everybody! Merci beaucoup la monde!
Although expectations didn't dictate my experience, tasks, nonetheless, guided my time. According to the 1st blog article for this whole endeavor, I had 8 tasks to complete.
I only completed 1 internship because I didn't want to spread myself thin ( budget also played a role in this decision ). I finished reading the 18 journal articles; I only took notes, so I haven't formed a synthesis of sorts. I started the GRE Lit Review; the book I read definitely gave me plenty of tips ( I'm preparing to take the practice test to help study for the actual test in October ). I definitely kept up with my blog ( blog overkill ), and I read for fun too. I didn't finalize any PhD applications, but I revised a "Statement" for a University, and also researched another University's program. I didn't complete the Peace Corps application, but I applied to other Assistant Directorship positions. After being pick-pocketed, my zest for exploration diminished; nonetheless, I explored the various malls I encountered along the way from my cousin's house to my place, plus the eateries in Katipunan Avenue. I didn't complete everything, but I did other things to make up for the incompletes ( such as running and freelance tutoring ).
See Summary Below:
-internship(s) [complete]
-research ( 18 journal articles ) [complete]
-GRE Lit Review [somewhat]
-blog updates [complete]
-fun reading [somewhat]
-PhD applications/ essays [incomplete]
-Peace Corps application [incomplete]
-Urban exploration ( Quezon City ) [somewhat]
Beyond the surface of material accomplishments, I tried to explore the profound ( that makes life or something like it more meaningful, diba? ). Ever since I migrated to the U.S. in 1993, I've returned to the Philippines 5-6 times: before high school (1999), before college (2003)?, Christmas during college (2004), project during college (2006), 1 year after completion of MAs program (2010), 6 months after the last time (Summer 2011).
Of course, it became more difficult to leave with each visit. For some reason, I couldn't blindly follow the "Immigrant Narrative" ( of leaving the "Old" world behind and starting fresh in this "new" land of opportunity ). Meanwhile, I couldn't just go back and leave this new land. I've established ties in both lands. The phrase, "It's complicated" is such an understatement (that's why it's difficult to write the Philippines-American War). So I'm just learning to accept the complexity of it all ( as long as there are airplanes, and I have money, then I can "easily" travel between lands: distance is relative, diba? ).
But still, every blue moon, I do wonder what life would be like if I never left the Philippines ( and then I'm reminded of speculation's limitations ). In spite of the tribulations of being an immigrant ( even if my case wasn't as severe/unfortunate as other immigrants' cases; I'm one of the lucky immigrants, who have an awesome network of support/who have opportunities/ who are living the positive and good "Immigrant Narrative" ).
In conclusion (^ _ ^)V ... I realized that in spite of the complexity of it all, I'm grateful that my migration introduced me to "Art." The main function of Art for me is expression. If I weren't taken out of the proverbial pond, I wouldn't be grasping for air. Thus Art is like oxygen; breathing-living is expressing: expression in its various forms/media: visual (etc.), kinesthetic (writing/dancing etc.), auditory ( singing/Musicals etc. ) et. al. ( cooking etc. ). I had a catalyst/reason[s] to create Art, and with this expression comes a type of literacy, (especially) a Cultural Literacy. I learned to read various situations and context ( more apparent and applied during my recent internship: code switching, translating, negotiating, interacting with people, et. al. ). Muchas gracias everybody! Merci beaucoup la monde!
Monday, September 5, 2011
ESL Practicum: students' impressions of me
Namaste Readers,
As I mentioned earlier, the students wrote me a letter. It was a nice closing activity. I've interacted with these students for 3 months; I read their Validation exams and was introduced to their Voices; I've learned a bit about them through Quick Speak Mondays; and I was their substitute teacher for 1.5 times. And in this short moment ( when I was in the spotlight, that one moment in time ), I was able to share a part of me. The composite letter below illustrates students' impressions of me:
-First of all, I would like to call you "Kuya Michael" because you have been been the class "Kuya" since the first day of class. In addition to that, I would like to call you "Kuya" because you have been part of this family.
-We may never have spoken to each other for more than five seconds, but it does not mean that I don't like you as a teacher.
-There's a saying [wherein] it is not the length of a friendship that makes it special but what you have done in whatever time you had to make it special.
-[The] discipline you have to be attending our classes everyday, sometimes even earlier than some of us ... [shows] the pure passion and your whole-hearted admiration for the subject.
-From what I saw, your students are so lucky to have a cool, funny, and smart teacher like you.
-To tell you honestly, I don't look at you as a professor ... Not because I don't recognize your profession, but because I don't see like a "terror-super-grade-conscious-professor" [but rather] I see you as a friend ... You are chill, cheerful, and friendly.
-You give a more relaxed feeling to the class when you take over ... Though I didn't get to know you, I can tell that you are sincere in your efforts to reach us.
-You did not make me feel inferior despite the fact that you are already a writing professor.
-By the time you became our substitute teacher, I realized that you're not the kind of teacher who would be nervous to speak in front of the students ... Thank you for the knowledge you've shared about "the dangers of Cramming."
-It was fun especially when [Student R] started asking questions. I was also hoping that you'd be [Director N's] substitute when she went to South Korea.
-The advice you give and the willingness you show to help other people like [Students F and B] can only come from a person who is willing to learn and to share what he's learned to the rest of the world ... And remember, no matter how short your stay was, you've got the heart of a true-blue Atenean in you.
-We consider you as one of our English blockmates ... I wanna say thank you ... especially the laughter you've given to the class.
-Now that you're moving on, I want you to be the best you can be in life. I look forward to reading your books in the future.
-I hope that we have helped and inspired you in your life as you did in ours. May you continue to do great things for the glory of God and always remember to soar and aim high but still keep your feet on the ground.
-We thank you for being a part of our English class ... Thank you so much for everything, Sir Michael!
As I mentioned earlier, the students wrote me a letter. It was a nice closing activity. I've interacted with these students for 3 months; I read their Validation exams and was introduced to their Voices; I've learned a bit about them through Quick Speak Mondays; and I was their substitute teacher for 1.5 times. And in this short moment ( when I was in the spotlight, that one moment in time ), I was able to share a part of me. The composite letter below illustrates students' impressions of me:
-First of all, I would like to call you "Kuya Michael" because you have been been the class "Kuya" since the first day of class. In addition to that, I would like to call you "Kuya" because you have been part of this family.
-We may never have spoken to each other for more than five seconds, but it does not mean that I don't like you as a teacher.
-There's a saying [wherein] it is not the length of a friendship that makes it special but what you have done in whatever time you had to make it special.
-[The] discipline you have to be attending our classes everyday, sometimes even earlier than some of us ... [shows] the pure passion and your whole-hearted admiration for the subject.
-From what I saw, your students are so lucky to have a cool, funny, and smart teacher like you.
-To tell you honestly, I don't look at you as a professor ... Not because I don't recognize your profession, but because I don't see like a "terror-super-grade-conscious-professor" [but rather] I see you as a friend ... You are chill, cheerful, and friendly.
-You give a more relaxed feeling to the class when you take over ... Though I didn't get to know you, I can tell that you are sincere in your efforts to reach us.
-You did not make me feel inferior despite the fact that you are already a writing professor.
-By the time you became our substitute teacher, I realized that you're not the kind of teacher who would be nervous to speak in front of the students ... Thank you for the knowledge you've shared about "the dangers of Cramming."
-It was fun especially when [Student R] started asking questions. I was also hoping that you'd be [Director N's] substitute when she went to South Korea.
-The advice you give and the willingness you show to help other people like [Students F and B] can only come from a person who is willing to learn and to share what he's learned to the rest of the world ... And remember, no matter how short your stay was, you've got the heart of a true-blue Atenean in you.
-We consider you as one of our English blockmates ... I wanna say thank you ... especially the laughter you've given to the class.
-Now that you're moving on, I want you to be the best you can be in life. I look forward to reading your books in the future.
-I hope that we have helped and inspired you in your life as you did in ours. May you continue to do great things for the glory of God and always remember to soar and aim high but still keep your feet on the ground.
-We thank you for being a part of our English class ... Thank you so much for everything, Sir Michael!
Random? visiting the Philippines
Namaste Readers,
Ever since I migrated to the U.S. in 1993, I've returned to the Philippines 5-6 times: before high school (1999), before college (2003)?, Christmas during college (2004), project during college (2006), 1 year after completion of MAs program (2010), 6 months after the last time (Summer 2011). Every visit reminded me of the circle of life.
Before I left in 1993, I whole-heartedly believed that the rest of my family would follow us to the States. I was unaware of all the paper work and Politics of migration. When we visited in 1999, my lola wasn't bed-ridden yet; she cried and commented that I got lighter. My lolo was bed-ridden, and he was skinnier than me. My cousins were completing high school, and started showing their independence ( I became aware of SM/Mall culture etc.; I became less self-centered when I realized life went on; and sad also when life went on, and I wasn't a part of it [as much] ).
For some reason, I'm having difficulty recalling the pre-college visit; around this time, I've been to Europe and to California. Nonetheless I remember my Christmas visit (2004). Most Pinoys I've encountered would reminisce about the wonderful memories of Christmas. I remember going to Christmas Carnivals, caroling, and shopping for my little cousins. I specifically remember this one Christmas when Santa really did come; my male cousins and I received this robot/vehicle/spaceship toy with miniature people riding in it ( the very unexpectedness of it made it more memorable ).
I wanted to experience Christmas in the Philippines as a young adult ( before life became too complicated with bills - I rationalized back then ). I remember this was one of the most tiring trips I made. In a matter of 2 weeks, I traveled around Luzon, visiting families from different provinces ( the traffic was horrible and the holiday made the public space uber crowded ). I realized I didn't like this type of whirl-wind trip; I'd like to take my time and have room for the traffic et. al. I liked the Christmas lyrics: "Through the years, we'll all be together, if the Fates allow ... Have yourself a Merry little Christmas Day."
By 2006, I was finishing college ( thinking that I would be entering the work force soon 100% not anticipating graduate school ). There are other parts of the Philippines, yet I've only been in Luzon. I wanted to continue expanding my horizons. My Honors Capstone Project ( exploring the legend of Maria Makiling ) was a good compromise. I got to explore the Philippines more ( not only geographically but aesthetically as well through literature, music, etc. ). My lola was bed-ridden, and one of my godchildren ( Cousin B's first born ) was already walking and chatting. My lolo died recently.
When I visited in 2010, my [older] cousins were starting their careers and family ( Nursing, Owning a Business, Relocating to another region of the Philippines with a new son, etc. ). The little cousins I used to babysit were entering the workforce ( one of them is even taller than me ). My lola recently died; I wasn't able to make the funeral because I was in the middle of finalizing my thesis ( my parents went ). My brother recently got married. My aunts and uncles were busy being grandparents. I was having difficulty jump starting my career et. al., and I was tired of being naive ( following a script, being conventional etc. ). I had to change my outlook ( a complete volte face ).
The 2010 trip became a food trip. Going on the other side of the world ( relative to Philadelphia, PA ) just to eat Filipino cuisine seemed to be the most impractical [yet sensible/probable] thing I could think of. It was a way of rebelling against practicality ( don't get me wrong, practicality has been very helpful; but I think my reservations kept me back; I don't want to be holding onto regrets ).
Lastly ( for now... ) the Summer 2011 trip was taken against practicality also. The money I made throughout all my various part time jobs were just going towards bills. The old me would have been okay with this and would continue following the narrative of: working and suffering before enjoying the fruit of one's labor. That's the same bull shizzle I was told. I have my Bachelor's and Master's Degrees ( and people in high school have a more stable job than me, pardon the hypebole! ).
The new me, however, have better things to do ( while I can, diba? ). So I volunteered - without pay, just experience for compensation - at University A; at least I had a say about where my money went: airfare, 3 months' rent, food bills, snack, souvenirs, etc. I also wanted to interact with other Filipinos outside my family circle. Individuality and striving for independence for Pride's sake are so over-rated. I'm not always going to have this luxury, so why not enjoy, diba?
For now, I think I know where I'm going (career-wise): a PhD ( if part time jobs were the only jobs good enough for me, I WANT to at least have something to show for it: like a PhD degree ), the Peace Corps ( at least this will help me to see the world more and interact with people from different walks of life while honing my skills and reducing my loan bills ), Or a Full Time Assistant Director position ( just to continue growing et. al. ) will further clarify this awareness.
Ever since I migrated to the U.S. in 1993, I've returned to the Philippines 5-6 times: before high school (1999), before college (2003)?, Christmas during college (2004), project during college (2006), 1 year after completion of MAs program (2010), 6 months after the last time (Summer 2011). Every visit reminded me of the circle of life.
Before I left in 1993, I whole-heartedly believed that the rest of my family would follow us to the States. I was unaware of all the paper work and Politics of migration. When we visited in 1999, my lola wasn't bed-ridden yet; she cried and commented that I got lighter. My lolo was bed-ridden, and he was skinnier than me. My cousins were completing high school, and started showing their independence ( I became aware of SM/Mall culture etc.; I became less self-centered when I realized life went on; and sad also when life went on, and I wasn't a part of it [as much] ).
For some reason, I'm having difficulty recalling the pre-college visit; around this time, I've been to Europe and to California. Nonetheless I remember my Christmas visit (2004). Most Pinoys I've encountered would reminisce about the wonderful memories of Christmas. I remember going to Christmas Carnivals, caroling, and shopping for my little cousins. I specifically remember this one Christmas when Santa really did come; my male cousins and I received this robot/vehicle/spaceship toy with miniature people riding in it ( the very unexpectedness of it made it more memorable ).
I wanted to experience Christmas in the Philippines as a young adult ( before life became too complicated with bills - I rationalized back then ). I remember this was one of the most tiring trips I made. In a matter of 2 weeks, I traveled around Luzon, visiting families from different provinces ( the traffic was horrible and the holiday made the public space uber crowded ). I realized I didn't like this type of whirl-wind trip; I'd like to take my time and have room for the traffic et. al. I liked the Christmas lyrics: "Through the years, we'll all be together, if the Fates allow ... Have yourself a Merry little Christmas Day."
By 2006, I was finishing college ( thinking that I would be entering the work force soon 100% not anticipating graduate school ). There are other parts of the Philippines, yet I've only been in Luzon. I wanted to continue expanding my horizons. My Honors Capstone Project ( exploring the legend of Maria Makiling ) was a good compromise. I got to explore the Philippines more ( not only geographically but aesthetically as well through literature, music, etc. ). My lola was bed-ridden, and one of my godchildren ( Cousin B's first born ) was already walking and chatting. My lolo died recently.
When I visited in 2010, my [older] cousins were starting their careers and family ( Nursing, Owning a Business, Relocating to another region of the Philippines with a new son, etc. ). The little cousins I used to babysit were entering the workforce ( one of them is even taller than me ). My lola recently died; I wasn't able to make the funeral because I was in the middle of finalizing my thesis ( my parents went ). My brother recently got married. My aunts and uncles were busy being grandparents. I was having difficulty jump starting my career et. al., and I was tired of being naive ( following a script, being conventional etc. ). I had to change my outlook ( a complete volte face ).
The 2010 trip became a food trip. Going on the other side of the world ( relative to Philadelphia, PA ) just to eat Filipino cuisine seemed to be the most impractical [yet sensible/probable] thing I could think of. It was a way of rebelling against practicality ( don't get me wrong, practicality has been very helpful; but I think my reservations kept me back; I don't want to be holding onto regrets ).
Lastly ( for now... ) the Summer 2011 trip was taken against practicality also. The money I made throughout all my various part time jobs were just going towards bills. The old me would have been okay with this and would continue following the narrative of: working and suffering before enjoying the fruit of one's labor. That's the same bull shizzle I was told. I have my Bachelor's and Master's Degrees ( and people in high school have a more stable job than me, pardon the hypebole! ).
The new me, however, have better things to do ( while I can, diba? ). So I volunteered - without pay, just experience for compensation - at University A; at least I had a say about where my money went: airfare, 3 months' rent, food bills, snack, souvenirs, etc. I also wanted to interact with other Filipinos outside my family circle. Individuality and striving for independence for Pride's sake are so over-rated. I'm not always going to have this luxury, so why not enjoy, diba?
For now, I think I know where I'm going (career-wise): a PhD ( if part time jobs were the only jobs good enough for me, I WANT to at least have something to show for it: like a PhD degree ), the Peace Corps ( at least this will help me to see the world more and interact with people from different walks of life while honing my skills and reducing my loan bills ), Or a Full Time Assistant Director position ( just to continue growing et. al. ) will further clarify this awareness.
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