Eat, eat, eat: saying goodbye

Mange Readers!

Saying goodbye is never an easy thing.  Nonetheless, never mind the fear, and all the aggravation because there's a better place for you and me to be (diba?).  Look for the rainbow in every storm, find out for certain, love's gonna be where you are; you'll always be someone's baby; goodbye my friend - ang dramatik naman! - ( prize to the person who can identify the 2 songs in this smash-up ).  In all seriousness, how does one say goodbye and "thank you"? Syempre, FOOD!

On Tuesday, I had my last tutoring session with Tutee B.  It was awkward to emphasize the "goodbye" so we went about it just like a regular session.  For merienda, we ate at Zecaf's; I ordered pumpkin soup and the deluxe omelette ( bacon, ham, cheese, and onion ) with toast.  For dessert, I had an avocado shake.  We recalled the beginning of it, how Tutee B noted in his planner: "Get help from PhD."  As a parting gift, I gave him the book, "The Giver" ( because of his curiosity for Marxist criticism ).

I ran my last Nite Run around the campus: high school, ISO, street leading to Gate 3, stretch of land parallel to Katipunan Avenue, and back to Blue Eagle Gym.  The brass section of the band practicing, and free hydration of Gatorade waiting to quench one's thirst.  I actually kept up with the leader ( just a second behind him ) sprinting to the end.  Later to recharge, I ordered the protein-rich meal at Kenny Rogers ( Roast Chicken, Tuna Salad, Rice, and yogurt with Kiwi for dessert ).

After my last day of class observation, I went to Gonzaga Cafeteria and had snacks: Taho, puto, and Banana Chips.  During my last day in Literature class, I ate a Fudgee Bar during break; at the end of class, I gave Prof. C a "Thank You" card.  In a strange manner, the awareness I gained from his class helped me to worry less.

We did as much as we could with Runner J's thesis.  The last part was especially difficult because I was physically tired and emotionally distracted.  Nonetheless, only a few were left for fine-tuning: adviser's comments, appendix pages, and page numbers.  I was extra glad because I was mentioned in his acknowledgments as an editor with "Eagle's eyes" ( ironic because of my glasses, lol )  Afterwards, we had dinner at Kenny Rogers; I ordered the grilled fish meal with vegetables and Java Rice.

For desserts, we ate at McDonald's McCafe; I ordered steamed milk, and Nutty Brazo (de Mercedes), and he ordered a Rocky Roads Chocolate Bar.  In the end, I realized the serendipity of beginning and ending our editing session in McDonald's, where talks of spirituality, wavelengths, etc, occurred.  As a parting gift, I gave him the Tagalog version of "The Little Prince." Hopefully, he'll have more time to read for fun, now that he'll be finishing his MAs thesis.

I arrived at my dorm, and one of my Taiwanese Roomies was still awake.  He saw me packing, and I told him my plan of moving out.  Language barrier prevented us from having a similar goodbye talk ( like Roomies L and J ).  I said goodbye to Roomie S before he left for class the next day.  I didn't bother with Kim Jong ILL ( who ate my apples ).  I checked out of My Place, and I'm glad they didn't give me trouble with my refund.

The 2nd to the last day of my internship, Director N and Secretary V took me out to Cravings for dinner.  We had unlimited salad and soup; Secretary V and I tried the free Pina Colada with Rum.  I ordered a Mango Peach Blend.  All of us ordered the Mix Grilled Seafood ( prawn, squid, Dori Fish, and Tuna a la kebab style ) with Rice.

For desserts we tried the unlimited cake ( four choices ) and coffee ( iced or hot ).  The only catch was that you had to finish your cake slice before moving on to the next slice.  If we didn't persevere, we wouldn't have a chance to try their most delicious cake in the end ( plain Chocolate cake with meringue icing, mocha cake with Dulce de Leche icing, Caramel Brownie Cake [yummy], and Vanilla cake with Leche Flan icing ).  On the last day of my internship, I had Avocado shake, Rice, Pork and Sausage Menudo, and Pinakbet.  As parting gifts, I gave Director N and Secretary V Ferrero Rocher chocolates, and Lindt's Dark Chocolate (70% Cacao).

With the family, Cousin G took me out to Starbucks, and we walked around SM Megamall and had lunch: Sago't Gulaman and Sisig Bangus.  I brought pasalubong after my pasalubong shopping trip: ube cake, chocolate truffles, Brazo de Mercedes cake, mango ice cream, and black bean hopya:   And Cousin J will sponsor the "Bon Voyage" Party on the day of my departure: spaghetti, Lumpia Shanghai, Chop Suey, chicken, Rice, Coca Cola, etc. ( if there's money left from my refund, I'll get cake from Red Ribbon ).

Manila Internship: last week, last day (w13&w14)

Kamusta Readers,

As my internship came to a close, many things happened ( in the words of teleserye promoters, marami pang pampasabog ).  A while ago, a friend pointed out the wisdom in freeing the self from expectations.  In all honesty, yun ang ginagawa ko ( this is what I tried doing ).  I approached my internship without any specific expectations EXCEPT in the vaguest term possible: to learn.  Whatever these lessons were, bahala na.  Because I wasn't inhibited by false expectations, I got more than I bargained for; I'm grateful for the blessings.

During quick speak Monday, we reviewed the structure of speech-giving.  Some students were able to adjust what they prepared in order to incorporate the tips.  Some even received a mini constructive criticism afterwards.  Writing Wednesday was my last day of observing the ESL class.  One of the students' assignments was to write me a letter.  I also wrote them a letter and read it to them.  When I was rehearsing my letter, I'd get emotional ( a la Mariah Carey ) every time I'd reach the 3rd paragraph.  In spite of this awareness, come performance time, my voice still cracked ( puberty style ).  Don't worry, a professional such as moi, would never bawl in public ( I could have won an Oscar, sayang! ).

As for the Freelance Tutoring, we completed our tasks and exchanged contact info.  During Tutee B's session, we reviewed elements of a good thesis, showing versus telling, and the structure of an essay.  Then I gave Tutee B the prompt for his final reflection incorporating the above elements.  He employed a writing process while completing this task ( he said he would type it and email me a copy; I haven't received it yet ).  Runner J and I worked on Ch. 4, and afterwards we perused his entire thesis (100pages) to make sure that Figure numbers et. al. were consistent.  By the end of our time, we produced a draft to submit to his adviser ( whose comments would be the last content to add before thesis submission and graduation ).  I did as much as I could in the time given to me; the rest is up to him ( wishing them the best of luck ).

In the office, I finished shelving, and updating the computer catalog ( in spite of problematic computer due to insufficient power source ).  We finalized the Library Project by updating the "Library Use Guidelines" and laminating it and other labels ( Journal, Fiction, References, et. al. ).  The Center was getting a lot of traffic.  Phone was ringing, and people asked about the upcoming conference; some even stopped by in person to register.  I was reminded of phone etiquette.  The Book Project was coming to an end as well; meetings were set for editors' photo session, layout discussion, book launching party, sales, and promotions.  For the Publication Project, I sent writer I's comments for revisions, and I revised and submitted my UbD article.

On the 2nd to the last day, the Center Staff and I had dinner at a restaurant in Katipunan Avenue ( see blog article: "Eat, eat, eat: Katipunan Avenue" ).  On the last day, I finalized the library catalog; Secretary V  and I discussed application and hiring process at the University ( and a bit of fashion ;).  The Center's magazine came out; my picture with the Teachers' Club made it in the Photo Gallery ( my UbD article will be published in the February 2012 issue, yay! ).  I gave them chocolates to show my gratitude; we took pictures and exchanged contact info.  What an awesome internship!

Random? odd moments

Namaste Readers,

Because life is bizarre, some events during this summer were more odd than usual.  This article will start exploring those odd moments.

Roomies:
My experience with 5 different Roomies (L, J, K, C, S) in the course of 3 months definitely made me more critical about future Roomies ( Should I save money and take chances with strangers?, OR Spend more money for personal space?, OR Save money, but do a lot of work screening Roomies? etc.).  Roomies L and J were quiet, but at least they were better than Roomie K, also known as Kim Jong Ill.

Kim Jong ILL is named after North Korean dictator because of their totalitarian similarities.  He turned on the air-condition anytime he wanted ( disregarding the high electric bills ); he also left it on when he left the room.  He started putting his shizzle on my book shelf and at the bottom of my ladder.  He was also the main suspect for my missing apples ( he probably used my cologne and hair gel too! ).  The "I-L-L" part of his name is because he'd get sick for not taking care of himself ( and miraculously, every time he was sick, he can deal with not having air-conditioning ).  Good riddance!!!

Malls:
Between my cousin's house and my place are bunches of Malls: Robinson's Galleria, SM Megamall ( connected to smaller malls I didn't explore: Starmall, Shangri-La, and St. Francis Square), Farmer's Market, The Gateway, SM Cubao-Araneta, and the Ali Mall [named after boxer, Muhammed Ali] ).  Somewhere in these Malls, I got pick-pocketed ( so surreal ).  Shopping in the beginning was fun because my budget was full ( I used birthday and Christmas gift certificates ), but towards the end, I got jaded.  I think I bought the entire/most of Penshoppe's collection for this season ( except the shoes/hats etc. ).  Board shorts and my Storm Sandal were my top fashion items of the summer.  

My Place:
It's an okay place to stay; I didn't like the seeming hidden charges.  I didn't get why the cut-off date for the electric bills ( water too ) began on the 5th of the month, and ended on the 25th of the month.  It was awkward especially for short timers ( such as moi ).  The public stairs is not as open to the public ( except for emergency use ), thus there was a fee for using the elevator; it's so happens that the once-a-year charge happened on the month I was leaving ( coincidence? ).

The gym is okay, but some of its exercise machines needed to be updated.  One time I was working out, and these Koreans came in.  They were like a hurricane, but efficient.  They were noisy playing K-Pop and some American RnB, but each of them was busy with a machine or doing some floor exercise ( it reminded me of a cartoon ).

Another time, I bought yummy Liver spread to put in my pandisal, and my Roomie didn't have a can-opener.  I asked front desk, and they didn't have it either.  So I started knocking on my neighbors' doors.  They didn't open.  Finally there was this dude, who was returning to his room so I bluntly asked him if he had a can-opener.  He found the question weird, and his Roomie let me borrowed his can-opener. ( can't argue with the tummy, diba? ).

Dissertation notes: problematizing Fear

Superpowers like the U.S. also have fears, so to note the pervasive influence of fear working throughout its culture is not so far-fetched.  Abroad, Paulo Freire's insights about the Culture of Silence and the Fear of Freedom can be applied to the U.S's situation.  Through reflections, American citizen and teacher Parker J. Palmer can corroborate Freire's observations.  American Studies scholar Oscar Campomanes, Ph.D further supports Palmer's perspective of Fear dealing especially with the Nation's identity.

According to Freire, a Culture of Silence cultivates Fear when people remain ignorant of their ability to look "critically at the world in a dialogical encounter with others" (14-15).  A Fear of Freedom thus become the result, but freedom in this sense is quite perverse: freedom is confused with the maintenance of the status quo (18)... where "the oppressed are afraid to embrace freedom; the oppressors are afraid of losing the "freedom" to oppress" (28).  For both of them, they face the challenge of overcoming "prescription."  True freedom for the oppressed means "rejecting this internalization of inferiority, replacing it with autonomy and responsibility" (29).


But it's more complicated than this:

They are at one and the same time themselves and the oppressor whose consciousness they have internalized.  The conflict lies in the choice between being wholly themselves or being divided; between rejecting the oppressor within or not rejecting them; between human solidarity or alienation; between following prescriptions or having choices; between being spectators or actors; between acting or having the illusion of acting through the action of the oppressors; between speaking out or being silent, castrated in their power to create and re-create, in their power to transform the world.  This is the tragic dilemma of the oppressed which their education must take into account. (Freire 30) 

To break this Silence and liberate themselves from this Fear of Freedom would mean letting go of "old paternalistic" [teacher-student] relationship, and being pro-active in order to start naming their world empowered by this new awareness of selves.


American educator and citizen Palmer also noticed this "old paternalistic" relationship. According to him academic culture "distrusts personal truths... mostly honoring an 'objective' way of knowing... [where] objective facts are regarded as pure, while subjective feelings are suspect and sullied" (18).


Academic Culture, says Palmer, illustrates the Culture of Fear pervasive in the U.S.  Fear is created through the practice of a disconnected life:

We are distanced by a grading system that separates teachers from students, by departments that fragment fields of knowledge, by competition that makes students and teachers alike wary of their peers, and by a bureaucracy that puts faculty and administration at odds... Fear is what distances us from our colleagues, our students, our subjects, ourselves... Fear is a standard management tool... it is the fear of losing my job or my image or my status if I do not pay homage to institutional powers. (Palmer 36)

This Fear can be summed up in "the fear of having a live encounter with alien 'otherness'... we fear encounters in which the other ... tell us what we may not wish to hear.  We want those encounters on our own terms, so that we can CONTROL their outcomes, so that they will not threaten our view of world and self" (emphasis mine, Palmer 37).  Palmer continues that this fearful encounter is "actually a sequence of fears that begin in the fear of diversity... fear of the conflict that will ensue when divergent truths meet... fear of conflict... fear of losing identity [and sense of self]" (38).


Campomanes shares insights about Fear induced by identity confusion specifically of the U.S. during its rise as a world superpower.  The example Campomanes brings up is the often ignored Philippines-American War ( the result of the Spanish American War ).  The Philippines-American War is often ignored and downplayed because this war tarnishes the reputation of the U.S. as harbinger of freedom and democracy.  Most U.S. politicians et. al. rationalized that the Philippine government who fought the Spaniards weren't "civilized" enough to established sovereignty.  The "humane" thing to do was colonized the Filipinos and teach them "civility."  This very act has caused conflict with U.S. identity:

First, the constitutional crisis that shaped up and intensified also cleaved to an undeniable tenuousness of U.S. sovereignty claims over the Philippines from the perspective of international law, a crisis of legitimacy which the Treaty of Paris did not resolve and, in fact, clearly foregrounded.  Second, the unpreparedness of the U.S. Army and War Department in war footing itself became an issue, sharpened by the grim turns  that the Philippine war was taking and would take with the two years after this war was repeatedly declared  by campaigning U.S. generals to be a quick and easy one for the U.S. armed forces.  As army and war atrocities  mounted and the increasingly genocidal tenor of the war became quickly evident, two problems became endemic: troop discipline breakdown and sagging national morale, especially as the Filipinos resorted to guerilla warfare by November 1899, after losing in set piece and conventional battles in which they suffered from decisive disadvantages. (139-140) 

Before Vietnam, there was the Philippines-American War.  While other U.S. historians would argue that the Philippines-American War was an "aberration" (employing the "The Great Aberration Thesis" ), other historians would argue otherwise: the very structure of U.S. foundation and democracy is bourgeois and imperialist.  Palmer also notices a similar pattern, perhaps questioning the aberration theory.  He notes the complexity of Fear pervasive in U.S. culture:

Our multi-layered fear of the live encounter is not simply a personal emotion that teachers and students bring into the classroom one by one.  It is also a cultural trait at work in every area of our common life.  We practice a politcs of fear in which candidates are elected by playing on voters' anxieties about race and class.  We do business in an econmy of fear where "getting and spending" are driven by consumer worries about keeping up with the neighbors.  We subscribe to religions of fear that exploit our dread of death and damnation. (49)

Like Freire's Culture of Silence, Palmer finds a reason how such a Culture of Silence can be created in the U.S.: "people who have reason to fear those in power have learned that there is safety in not speaking (45):"

Since the1960s... implicitly and explicitly, young people (students in the U.S.) are told that they have no experience worth having, no voice worth speaking, no future of any note, no significant role to play... the behaviors generated by fear- silence, withdrawal, cynicism- often mimic those that come with ignorance, so it is not always easy... behind their fearful silence, our students want to find their voices, speak their voices, have their voices heard.  (Palmer 46) 

In conclusion Fear is pervasive in the U.S..  These 3 scholars give us evidence, and most likely, this is just the tip of the iceberg.  In spite of all of these FACTS, there is hope (diba?). Palmer agreeing with Freire and Campomanes' critical AWARENESS to eliminate the Culture of Silence and Fear of Freedom, says it best when he encourages us to embrace the promise of diversity, of creative conflict, and of 'losing' in order to 'win': "Otherness, taken seriously, always invites transformation, calling us not only to new facts and theories and values but also to new ways of living our lives" (39).

Let's talk about it for starters, diba? Let's play!

Eat, eat, eat: Katipunan Avenue

Mange Readers,

One of the great things about the place I'm renting is that it's very "walking" friendly.  The University is only a block away from "my place," and along Katipunan Avenue are bunches of restaurants/eateries/concessionaires ( serving sizes are the same as campus cafeteria, but prices are doubled ).  Originally, my intent was to at least eat at each restaurant; I only had two more restaurants left to complete the list but my budget ran out ( it's okay that I don't finish, because as I'm blogging this, there's a new food court, with new restaurants being built ).  Below are impressions:

Figlia- 4 Cheese on Chiaba? bread sprinkled with bits of ham is ok
Bo's Coffee- their pastries not as fresh/gummy, Green Tea Frappuccino so-so
The Tea Place- I heart their Iced Brown Sugar Milk Tea with pearls
KFC- typical fast food; I ate their chicken sandwich
Pancake House- Breakfast all day rox; pancakes not so bad; I had the yogurt with  Brazo de Mercedes? yummy
Tea-Ology- I heart their Amaretto Milk Tea Latte, Iced Caramel Milk Tea with Egg Pudding, and the Kyoto Matcha Green Tea Latte ( with sweetness level of 100% )
Hap Chan- tofu ok, meatball soup so-so, their notion of "Chilled/cold" Taho is room temperature, their Fried sweet "squash" only looks like a tiny squash but it's made of mochi/sticky sweet rice flour W/ red bean paste inside
Bacolood Chicken- it's so-so, the chicken breast was tiny, their mango/cilantro/vinegar/etc salad was interesting
The Old Spaghetti House- it rox, I like how they fused local flavors with international dishes: Tuna Alfredo, Thai Bagoong Pasta, California Maki Pizza, Matcha Green Tea Shake
Pizza Hut- the personal pizza was tiny, the chicken soup with pastry ( their take on chicken pot pies ) was ok
Gravy Fixx- the salisbury steak w/ sunny-side up egg and rice is ok
Red Buffalo Wings- rockin sweet chicken tenders served with wasabi mayo dip and rice
Sweet Inspiration- loved their pastries, regular/wheat pandisals, loaf bread, pandan shake, I like their coffee and cake special
Cerealicious- overpriced champorado, but awesome names for cereal treats with yogurt, nuts, fruit et. al.
Teriyaki Boy- salmon salad had too much dressing
Yellow Cab Pizza Co.- pistaschio ice cream rox, so is their squash soup ( with actual squash ), pizza so-so
Big, Better, Burgers- Fish Fillet burger rox
Seattle's Best Coffee- Avocado shake creamy, Chai Tea/Cherry/Almond/Caramel latte rox, macaroon cupcake rox
Kenny Rogers- very flavorful chicken, yogurt with kiwi/mixed fruit, the Protein Meal, the Fiber Meal, Norwegian Salmon so-so, pan-cotta/ fruit salad ok
Jollibee- soda floats, jolli spaghetti with yum, tuna pie, chicken sandwich
Greenwich Pizza- their thin crust pizza rox
Mushroom Burgers- mushrooms are their specialty, Chinese Halo-halo ok, Longanisa and rice
Starbucks- Green Tea Latte, Green Tea Frappuccino, Green Tea Latte with a Shot of Hazelnut, Cinnamon Swirl yummy
Tia Maria's Cantina- Seafood pasta, mango shake ok
Shakey's- Bianca Pizza, calamares, fish fillet, spaghetti with giant meatball ( more like tiny meatball ), vanilla/strawberry shake, salad so-so, I'm more impressed with thin crust pizza rather than the hand-tossed ones
McDonald's- chicken nuggets, fries, spaghetti, burger, chicken sandwich, their McCafe is surprisingly competitive: steamed milk with a shot of raspberry, nutty brazo, cappuccino, their Midnight Chocolate Cake is the bomb ( moist and creamy, flavorful yet not too coy )
Pan De Manila- their pastries and pandisals are so-so
Cravings- unlimited salad and soup with a main dish rox, unlimited coffee and cakes ( 4 levels, 4 choices as long as you finish each cake ) depends ( under renovations so not so visible )

Thus, my Top 2 would have to be Kenny Rogers and The Old Spaghetti House.  Nonetheless these foodies provided space for reflection, work, and chillin with new friends.